Have the relationship you want starting today! Do you think that you are ready for a stable relationship? Avoid critical situations and learn how to maintain the love, harmony and peace in your relationship.
Here are 8 steps that will help you to have the relationship you want.
1. Be yourself
Did your partner ever tell you to change certain things in yourself because he doesn’t like this and then he doesn’t like that? You wanted to please him and avoid love problems, but next thing you know, you feel like you are losing your personality and you don’t recognize yourself anymore. Saving a relationship is not easy, but that doesn’t mean you must give up on yourself.
This leads to frustrations and fights because you feel at a certain point that you must regain your identity. How easy it would have been if you would have remained true to yourself even since the beginning of the relationship.
In the same time though, if you will never accept a chance or a little compromise, you will never be able to maintaining a relationship for a long time, because every partner will have to deal with your stubbornness. Understand that a relationship is built in two, and it is normal that you make, here and there, some changes. When it comes though to big change that define yourself, then be honest with your partner and with yourself and realise if you can make those changes. In this manner, none of you will have to suffer later.
2. Communication is the key
You probably heard by now that communication is the key to a great relationship. First of all, make this a relationship rule: discover yourselves through communication. Have the relationship you want by starting with ordinary conversations and move to the more personal ones that will allow you to get closer to each other.
Communicate your fears, likes and dislikes, things that you love and things that you hate, everything that defines you as a person. Your emotions will become the emotions of your partner and you will gain in this way a feeling of intimacy, security and harmony in your relationship.
3. Don’t ignore the differences
Every beginning of a relationship is very passionate, but in time things settle down. In these moments things that you have ignored start to come out to the surface. What do you do when you discover that there are some differences between you, which you cannot ignore, when, in the same time, you love your partner?
Don’t live with these differences that bother you and that are affection your relationship without discussing them with your partner. Have the relationship you want by listening to each other and see if there is something that you can compromise or change.
If you are not able to find a solution that fits you also on the long term, if you are not in peace with the decision that you made, then you should think twice before you continue your life as a couple. Sooner or later, these frustrations will come out to the surface and will damage your relationship. Have the relationship you want by being honest with yourself and with your partner and have the courage to confront also more unpleasant things.
4. Find common activities
This doesn’t mean that you two should have the same interest, but once in a while is nice to have a common hobby, that you can develop together. It will become your common passion, your quality time, away from routine and daily problems. A dance course, a cooking course, a painting course or anything that raises both your interest will break you form the routine and you bring you closer.
5. Maintain a good relationship with each others family
To have the relationship you want you don’t have to look only in the life as a couple, but you have to relate yourselves also to the people around you. One of the most popular themes for fights and conflict within a relationship is the family.
When the partner cannot get along with your parents, you feel annoyed and this becomes an uncomfortable situation for everybody involved. From a nasty Christmas dinner, to a fight with your mother-in-law, bit by bit you feel like your relationship is breaking. Even if you are not a fan of the family of your partner, for the sake of your relationship, try at least to be polite and get along with everyone and expect the same thing in return.
6. Watch out for sex and money
Another two problems that usually can bring a lot of fight in a couple are sex and money. Do you have the courage to talk to your partner about what you like and you don’t like in bed, what would you like to change, what are your fantasies? Do you feel like you just don’t match when it comes to sex?
What about money? How does it make you feel that your partner earns more that you? Do you like that you are the man in the house, but your income is smaller than your partner’s? Can you deal with the fact that you have separate accounts? The key to have the relationship you want is communication. Talk about all your worries, don’t think that the problems will just disappear at a certain point, because that will make things worse.
7. Don’t neglect the importance of religion
Although this is maybe a subject that you think you didn’t care too much about, imagine yourself in your wedding day. Your partner has another confession that you. How important is religion to you in this situation? Would you agree to get married in the church of your partner? What role does religion play for your partner? Would it bother you in the child would take the religion of your partner?
Although you might think that you are not a very religious person, there are chances that your ego will feel very religious exactly in the most important moments of your life. Have the relationship you want by talking about this subject before you make important decisions before it is too late.
8. Understand that things change
The relationship between you and your partner will not be the same from the beginning to the end. You will encounter many stages, many problems that you will have to face and the way you manage to overcome all of this will make or break your relationship.
You must understand these changes, accept the fact that passion becomes love, that routine means stability and that, even after several years or relationship, you shouldn’t renounce on what you have just because things are not like in the beginning. If you feel that your relationship offers you comfort, stability, love, protection, security, than you might be in the right place.
Don’t forget that saving a relationship is difficult, fighting for a relationship can exhausts you, but if you wish to have the relationship you want, then you must dedicate all your attention and love to your partner.