Moms’ groups bring women from a variety of backgrounds, cultures, and religions together for the purpose of making friends for our children and ourselves. As an avid moms’ group participant over the past seven years, I’ve had the opportunity to spend countless hours with other moms.
Spending time with these moms has taught me a few things about women, some good and some bad. Below you’ll find my list of the top 9 things I’ve learned about women from being in moms’ group.
- Every woman is struggling with something. It doesn’t matter how put together she appears, she’s fighting some sort of struggle and it may have taken every last bit of energy to arrive at the playdate. The best thing you can do is to smile, lend an ear, and most of all, be sincere.
- No matter how nice or how hard you try, there will always be a select group of women that do not like you. Do not waste a single minute worrying about them. You will never figure out their reasons. Chances are they are jealous of you and insecure with themselves.
- Every mom parents differently. You may not like or agree with another mom’s method, but unless she is harming her child, try not to get involved. If you have concerns, talk to her directly. She may be overwhelmed and could use a little help.
- Moms groups bring women from various backgrounds together. Be open to meeting new people. Those who may have never been friends in pre-mom life can suddenly become best friends while pushing their tots on the swings.
- There are always women who like to talk trash. Beware of the “Gossip Queens.” Keep in mind that if someone is talking trash to you, she is most definitely talking trash about you. As tempting as gossiping can be, don’t get mixed up in it. You will regret it.
- Women, especially stay-at-home moms, like to vent about their significant others. This doesn’t mean their spouses are terrible people. Try to put the complaints aside when you meet the person face-to-face. He or she is probably a genuinely nice person.
- There will always be that one mom who is the loudest and wants to be the center of attention. Though you can try to ignore her, doing so only makes her get louder. It’s easier to just go with it. Let her talk, have her rant, and she’ll quiet down after a short time. It’s obvious she is desperately seeking attention. Give it to her. She may not be receiving attention from anyone else.
- If a mom claims to have forgotten to bring a dish to the potluck or forgot her donation for the Toys for Tots program, don’t make her feel bad for forgetting. She may be struggling financially and too embarrassed to admit it. There’s no need to make her feel worse than she probably already does for not being able to keep up.
- Some women will show up to playgroup looking as is they just stepped out of the beauty salon and others will arrive in their pajamas looking as if they just rolled out of bed. Whatever you do, don’t judge. Every woman is doing the best she can. If a mom appears to be overwhelmed, it’s probably because she is. Get to know her better and offer help. We all have good and bad days and need the support of each other to get through the tough ones.
Though some of these may be negative, the positive aspects of moms’ group such as making lifelong friends and creating memories with your child definitely outweigh the negatives. The comradery of moms facing the trenches of motherhood together helps make the day-to-day monotony of being a stay-at-home mom more enjoyable.
How about you? Have you been part of a moms’ group? Do you agree or have anything to add to my list?